Moving with Kids

Moving is a big deal for families with kids, even if your move is just taking you down the street. A new house has to be found and closed on, everything has to be packed or donated, and then everyone has to safely get to the new home. This probably feels stressful, exciting, and chaotic to the adults in the family, and they’re not the only ones. Moving is especially hard on kids. They watch as seemingly everything about their lives changes around them, and this can bring up a lot of fear, sadness, and bad behaviors. Luckily, there is quite a bit parents can do to help their children more easily transition to their new home.

Don’t Keep your Kids in the Dark

It’s best to let your kids know about the upcoming move relatively early on. They don’t need to know on day one, but they shouldn’t be finding out because they happen to walk in on a showing. Let them know about where you’re moving and why. Tell them how you feel about it so they can model their reactions after yours, “I’m excited for a bigger house but I will miss our neighborhood”. Showing them that you also are experiencing feelings of loss can help them wrap their heads around their own complicated emotions. Kid’s may also be confused about what moving looks like. Help them understand who exactly will be coming, that they don’t have to part with their toys and furniture, and that they’ll still be able to play their favorite games.

Help them See the Excitement

A great way to make your kids feel like they still have some control is to include them on touring the new house. Show them the features you’re excited for, “Look how much space there is to play!” and ask them what they like about it. If it’s in the budget, you can even ask them what color they’d like to paint their new room to help add to the excitement. If you can’t take them to the house at least use Google Earth. Help them explore the new street, yard, school, and town so that when you arrive it feels a bit familiar. You can also start to ask them what they’d like to keep from your old home for the memories

Help them Say Goodbye

It’s important to remember that your home is your child’s safe space, their comfort zone. No matter how lovely your new home is, it’s still new and unfamiliar. It can be helpful to bring pieces of your old home to your new place. Help your child make a keepsake box so they can feel connected to their old home. Collect dirt and leaves from the yard, bring their old doorknob, gift them a disposable camera to capture memories from their perspective.

You should also find ways to help them say goodbye to the people in their lives. Host a going away party, help them write goodbye letters or thank you notes, and ask if they’d like to give their best friend a gift to remember them by - maybe a friendship bracelet is the perfect handmade memento. You can also make plans to come back and visit their best friend before you even leave. This will give them something to look forward to and help them stay connected to loved ones.

Be Tactful when Packing

Your child’s room should be the last room you pack and the first one you unpack. You can also let them help you with packing (in general) to help them feel helpful and in control.  Being in the chaos of a new and packed house is certain to upset most children. Providing them with a safe haven of a neat room with all their usual things can help ease this stress. Also be sure to plan ahead. Know exactly what your children’s “must haves” are, and pack those toys, blankets, teddys, and books in a special suitcase that’s easy to find and unpack. The last thing you want to be doing at the end of moving day is wildly tearing through nicely packed boxes looking for the mermaid nightlight as your child throws a tantrum.  PS, boxes are very fun. Encourage and help your child make forts and other make-believe toys with your plethora of empty boxes as you unpack. It makes for fun first memories in the new house.

Keep Some Normalcy

Your child is used to a schedule, do your best to keep to it. Once in the new place, very little will feel familiar. Something that doesn’t have to change is your child’s schedule. Work hard to get them in bed at their normal time and try your best to follow their typical bedtime routine.

Have Fun When You First Arrive

Explore your yard, find delicious food, take a break from unpacking the first night and have a pizza and movie night. Go to the pet store and get a new pet (something easy like a fish). Start making positive memories early on to make your house feel like a home. It’s also a good idea to start exploring your new neighborhood. Head to a park or find other child friendly activities that you know will pique their interest. Maybe you can even get them meeting other kids in the area through a club, sport, or moms’ group. If you take this route be sure to take some time to address fears, they may have about meeting new people and making friends.

Let them Grieve

You’re likely missing things about your old home or town. So are they, and this may be the first time in their lives they are experiencing emotions like this. It’s important to create space that allows for them to feel sad and work through their emotions in a supported way. Ask them how they are, what they miss, and let them know it’s normal and ok to feel that way. Tell them things you miss and also ask them what things they like about their new life. Perhaps meeting with a school counselor or involving a therapist is the right move for your kiddo. It’s important to remember that kids don’t have all the emotional intelligence and tools adults do to work through sad and hard times. Now is a great time to start helping them build their own healthy toolbox.

Phoenix Moving is a top-rated mover and packer in Bentonville, Arkansas.  We offer local moving, cross-country moves, packing and moving supplies, staging services, moving of oversized items, and more!